First Christmas Without My Santa

This will be my first christmas without my santa. You might ask who’s my santa is. She is no other than my Grandmother, Lola Terry. Why I call her santa? because when I was a kid, I learned early that she’s the one putting gifts in my socks. I caught her, but she doesn’t know. I never told her so that she won’t stop putting gifts in my socks. heheheh!

I miss her. I miss my santa. She passed away last July at the age of 79. When she died, I feel like a part of me died also. I am a lola’s girl. She’s the one who took care of me since I was a baby until I had my own daughter. I grew up with her. She gave everything thing that I wanted. I learned many things from her. 

Last night I dreamt of her, and in my dream, she was calling me. She’s having a hard time breathing, I tried to do everything to ease her but she told me to let her go.  It’s like real. I even embraced her and I was crying. When I woke up my eyes are wet. I really am crying. I remember before she had a heart attack, I was nebulizing her in her room.

As I was trying to recall my dream last night, I remembered her telling me to let her go. Yes, until now I am still in the process of recovering from her lost. And I think it’s time to let her go. But all her teachings and memories will always be in my heart. I had a happy childhood because of her.  And I am very thankful that God gave me someone like her.Wherever she is now, I know she’s guiding us.

 

“Merry Christmas Santa. I miss you. I love you. Thanks for everything.”

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